Monday, December 18, 2006

[Note: This is my response to a Craig's List ad seeking a publicist. Never in my life have I played the role of this particular actor; in fact, I was only struck by the word itself. If the work involves having fun, though, I'm all over it!]

SEEKING PUBLICIST For unique new worldwide product line

To whom it may concern:

Go ahead. Make my day! Show me something that so stirs my passions I want to become its apostle. Inspire me to want to work hours and hours on end promoting (y) our new religious experience to the unitiated.

Show me what you got, baby, and I’ll show you what I can do with it!

Remember...all marketers are liars and publicists have vastly inflated egos. Both are often out-of-touch with human events and real-world social contracts outside their propagandist missions.

Why? Because they already think they’re smarter than you! By you seeking a high-falutin’ publicist, one might assume you’ve already bought into one more authoritarian construct where a publicist has, once again, assumed the upper hand as an acknowledged expert.

Truth be told, we can all be publicists, for who among us feels less or more expert about anything for very long?

Tell me about you. Tell me about your product(s). Tell me the outcome of our successful collaboration – from your perspective.

What you need is a fresh thinker who is inspired to break out of convention and lovingly stir up the beehive for you – one who fights like a wolverine and laughs like a hyena – and whose loyalty to you is unquestioned at every signpost. One who constantly gives more than s/he gets.

It’s what all of us need. It’s what I want to give.

At 52, I can tell you I don’t concern myself with corporate-speak in corporate-land anymore. It’s too demeaning, and it makes most feel “targeted” or “imprisoned”. Check me out. And I’ll check you out. Forget about the rules – they were made for someone else other than us.

To place a label on me – or you, for that matter – would be counter-intuitive and unproductive.

Together, we can create a new language to facilitate the emotional triggers we want to explore...which will capture the hearts and minds of our many new-found friends...since, they too, are destined to become apostles.

Put the customer in the driver’s seat. Present the benefits of ownership. Weave stories about ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances doing extraordinary things with your product line. Put out a single call to action - invite a direct response - one person at a time. And always follow up.

“Don’t make a consumer feel consumed by anything more than the passion for you and your product(s). Invite him/her to participate as a privileged willful partner – never as a mere consumer or a customer. It’s the frame which must be set right - from the first introduction - which will cause a proactive arrangement to take shape and grow exponentially...”

“…because we’re all ruled by emotion – and connected by emotion. We also happen to want to share in the benefits of some very cool product(s).”

As Ross Perot reportedly once said, we will all buy into the mission, when - as a team - we...“get”

Afterwards, we’ll all do a happy dance together.

At the end of the day, we’re defined by what we do, not what we say. Right?

Personally, at this moment, I’m a person of no import, of even less repute to you. I believe – like you, perhaps – that we must always trust, but verify.

Cunning calculation, cutting-edge communication techniques, and practical execution of a purpose-driven strategy – that’s all it takes!

There’s no one hero needed. No, not at all – just heroic interplay amongst many heroes.

Consider, though, that I might just be the stealth fighter you need in your camp right now.

Kindest regards,

Laurence Cumbie

Mainspring Mindshares

[P.S. - Note to self: Don't expect an answer. :)]